So, you respond to a personal ad that is obviously personal and local with the single question, “Are you real?” And, you receive a single word response of “no.” And, you reply with a rant about how everyone is fake on craigslist. Two things have happened. You have proven yourself oblivious to sarcasm by missing the point that a spam bot or another fake thing would most likely not be able to write no. And, you are now complaining about things not existing to a thing that does not exist.
Maybe, the problem is not that things are fake but that you are stupid? This is great, because you can’t control others people’s mendacity, but you can work on being smarter. I suggest reading, thinking critically, and asking questions more.
Also, you respond to an ad that is a bit provocative or weird in a banal, boring, dumb, turn-off, or offensive way, and you elicit no response. Don’t send a follow up email accusing the person of fakery. Recognize that the poster is either disinterested or practicing the virtue of saying nothing, when there is nothing nice to say. If you really want to do effective follow up, ask in a polite and humble way instead of assuming the worst about someone. Assumption does not make an ass out of me, but it really makes you look very, very unsexy and reiterates my decision to not engage with you.
Onto a different note, someone or some group who only reads the women looking for men personal ads needs to also read the terms of service. This group is flagging for deletion posts that are entirely within the guidelines on a regular basis. However, this person or group does nothing to the many men looking for men personal ads requesting unprotected, anonymous, glory hole sex.
So, why is this prudishness only being shoved down the throat of the sexual women of Charlottesville? I thought we were supposed to be in some sort of liberal bastion? Or does the liberation only apply to deciding not to build bridges and public apologies for diaspora?
Is this just another example of how we appear to be open and liberal until it gets too close, makes us uncomfortable, makes us think, offends us, or makes us hot in ways we don’t understand?
Or are we only to encourage boring, sexual stereotypes that haven’t led to quaking orgasm since….never?
If something is not for you, don’t answer it. If you don’t get it, look it up on wikipedia.
Don’t have the audacity to think that you reading a bunch of craigslist ads has now given you the right to be some beacon of sexual appropriateness for everyone else.
If the ad suggests sex with consent between adults, let it be.
Here are a few examples of ads that were deleted in less than hour from both the dating and casual encounter sections of Charlottesville craigslist in the last week….
“The flowers are wilted. He’s not coming back.”
She opens her eyes, closes her eyes, and reaches for him.
He is young, simple, smooth, angular, and accomodating.
With eyes closed and thoughts of another, she traces his personal places feeling the wrong.
She does not want to use over the lost affair. She wants to be used up.
She wants to get over him by getting under and around others.
She becomes another’s dream girl love madness.
She becomes another’s haven from a winter’s storm.
She becomes another’s vaginal show.
She becomes numb.
He becomes hard.
She braces herself.
He whispers, “Gotta pee.”
He rises from the crumpled comforters, and leaves her.
She opens her eyes surprised her vision has blurred with tears.
So….care to add to the confusion and drama?
I am 5’5 BBW, and I am writing this, because I am going through a sexual awakening, and I realize there are certain things I would love to try.
1. I want to seduce someone who has turned away from me. One of the things I want to do is start wearing very sexy clothes when I am around him. And, I want you to buy them for me. I want you in the fitting room with me while I model for you, and you pleasure yourself as you rest easy that I don’t give a damn about you and you are just a pawn in my hopes to gain attention from another. I may even let you dress me. I may even let you finish.
2. I want you to pay for and watch me get a pedicure in a nail salon. Then, I want you to buy me expensive shoes, get off in them, and let me wear them. I can only imagine what it must feel like to put your newly pedicured and pampered feet in someone’s mess. I wonder how long I will have to imagine.
3. I want to hear about your fantasies that you are brave enough, creative enough, and willing enough to enact with me.
Put “fantasy girl” in your response subject line, so I know you aren’t just going through answering everyone’s ad today. I think Fashion Square mall on Rt 29 would be a perfect place to find a fitting room, what do you think? Responses without current face pics will most likely not be answered unless you are very. very intriguing.
so, here’s what’s up. i was really, really excited to get together with this guy. and, he just up and stopped calling me. so, now i am this ball of frisky and anticipation, and i got nada! so, i was thinking maybe you could take me out for a late dinner, and we could see if there is some chemistry…
i am a big, brown, intimidating chick who digs funny, kind white guys over 5’7.
so, if i sound like your cup of mceedee’s sweet ice tea, holla!
your face pic gets mine.
don’t bother me, if you don’t think i am real.
to prove local, some of my girlfriends carpooled to richmond today to raise some hell about the new reproduction legislation, and no i didn’t play in yesterday’s snow.
i do not believe in the one man, one woman concept. i do not believe that one person can or should be an “all” for another person. i do not believe in monogamy.
i believe that souls are big enough to be splintered and entered into the hearts of many not just one or two. so, we can have as many soul mates or soul families as we accept.
i believe that honesty, openness, and willingness are sexier than discretion. deceit, and manipulation.
i believe that my capacity to love others has no negative effect on my love for you. my love is not finite. openly expressing love to several teaches me how to love better individually.
i understand that i love differently. i understand that you may not approve or understand my difference. i also understand outstanding things happen when i try something different, risk being uncomfortable, and seek first to be understanding instead of to be offended.
so, come to me if you are interested in sharing yourself with me. come to me if you are more interested in genuine connection than you are in labels or what your most judgmental acquaintances think. come to me if your kindness matches if not exceeds your arousal. come to me if you are a hopeful romantic. come to me if you are open to love and healing. come to me if your curiosity and excitement for intimacy and life overpowers your need to fear and negate.
proof i am local, my first kiss in Charlottesville was on the street side of UVA’s rotunda. my last kiss was across the street from the new Islamic Education Center behind Cherry Avenue.
proof i am real, everything and everyone you encounter are as real as you allow them to be.
your face picture gets mine.
please, include the name of your favorite philosopher or poet in the subject line of your response. i am not really worried about spam. i am testing for attentiveness to detail.
i hope what you are looking for finds you soon.
thank you for your attention.
and, hopefully we never go back to our regularly scheduled programming.
So, I was featured in this week’s C-Ville Weekly Sex Issue as a craigslist personal ad guru. I love how life edits us, sometimes.
I am no guru, but I am eternally hopeful, open, and curious.
So, I was told that craigslist is only a sex site, and I could never find something substantial or romantic here.
I love cynics, however I am notorious for changing things instead of accepting things.
I want a real, bonafide committed, healthy, relationship with someone who gets me on all levels.
And, I just know you are out there and adventurous enough or absurd enough or creative enough to think for just a split second, you can find that connection you didn’t even know you were looking for….right here, right now.
So, write now.
I am so glad you found me. I want you who will write me your dreams, secrets, and hopes. I want you who will write me your tragedies, jokes, and rants. Please don’t write me a one liner or a are you real message.
Jump in—show me the brave, romantic you. Share with me. And, I’ll share with you. Trust me, you’ll feel better.
My favorite poet until I read your work is Lord Byron. My favorite place to people watch is Miller’s patio. My favorite hot chocolate is from the IHOP way out on 29.
Happy New Year’s, love.
When I was a first year at the University, I ended up in one of the parking lots behind the Corner. I noticed a couple walking ahead of me. They were holding hands and suddenly he twirled her around him. And, she giggled. It’s been over fifteen years since I witnessed this moment, and it’s still my favorite example of what I want. But, I have a problem. I am a “personality chick.” I make most men laugh, some men think, and a very few want me. But, for some reason I have never inspired romance. I’ve never been able to access a man’s poet soul. I know these men exist, because they come to me for comfort when the women they do fall in love destroy them. So, would you like to be my first romance?
Phew….thank you so much for reading this far….
The Cville Weekly article
Serious and hilarious replies accepted.
Wanna go to IHOP or Fashion Square Mall to debate?