Gillian Colbert of Black Door Press has declared February 28th “Bare your sexul soul day.”
Since, I get turned on having all of this familiar and anonymous attention focused on my creative love lit, of course I will rise to the challenge of baring my sexual soul’s hopes.
Here’s my Top Twenty Sex in a Bucket List
1. Tongue kiss Robert DeNiro.
2. Go on a long drive all over Afton Mountain while giving my (not so) secret Charlottesville crush road head.
3. Solve the mystery if my (not so) secret Charlottesville crush’s rug matches his orange red drapes.
4. Appear on the cover of O magazine nude or topless.
5. Start a plus size clothing line called Naked Lady.
6. Re-invent romantic and erotic writing with my own publishing house called Red Paperclip Press.
7. Get an endorsement deal with a vibrator company that supports cervical cancer research and sexual abuse prevention.
8. Get a gothic V tattoo in the middle of my chest while the tattoo artist fucks me.
9. Stay at the bed and breakfast on Main Street and live out the fantasy of an all white night… a white knight, dozens of white roses, white satin sheets, strawberries dipped in white chocolate, white feathers, white blindfold, white silk lingerie, and white rabbit fur flogger.
10. Fuck my husband’s brain out, make him taste it as he’s dying, and become a widow on my wedding night.
11. Have one of my fans tattoo or brand “lick my literary legacy” in his or her pubic area.
12. Make Mitt Romney say, “Please let me suck your pink patriarchy,” and commence eating my pink glitter strap-on.
13. Go to a party only in exotic body paint.
14. Be a naked dessert tray at a party.
15. Be the centerfold and write the copy for an issue of Playboy.
16. Be the sexual or love interest that inspires an original country song hit.
17. Get a lucrative erotica or romance book deal.
18. Sell my Faust romantic comedy series idea called “Burning Boiling Water” to the Food Network.
19. Do a follow up documentary of the current lives of the prostitutes featured in the documentary The Chicken Ranch.
20. Create a literary and visual art series called Safe Sex illustrating twisted, sexual activities that have zero chance of ending in impregnation or sexual infection.
What’s your top twenty?